I was having a lazy weekend, casually scrolling through a social media platform I had barely visited in the past few weeks. One friend had a wedding, another had a big win at work, someone was traveling, and another had a lunch date with friends. It was one of those moments when life nudges you to reflect. How did some of the people I used to be closest with drift away? Or maybe, I was the one who drifted. In this blog post, let’s talk about navigating changing friendships as we advance in life and career.

1. Introduction: The Inevitable Shift in Friendships

A lot can change in a year. My go-to reason for missing important events or not showing up is usually “life happened.” And it is true. Managing personal challenges and career growth have changed my relationships with people, including my closest friends. Someone I once considered my best friend could now be just another familiar name on my feed.

As we grow personally and professionally, our relationships naturally evolve too. Differences in values and priorities, or simply the process of growing up and outgrowing certain aspects of life, come into play. But friendship changes are not necessarily losses. They are shifts, and we can embrace them with gratitude.

2. Why Friendships Change as We Grow in Our Career and Life (in general)

Sometimes, it starts with something small. A difference in opinion. A new job. A move to a different city. Other times, it is bigger. Life-altering shifts change the course of relationships.

For me, one defining moment was the 2016 elections. A lot of Filipinos wanted change, believing in the promises of a leader who, years later, failed to deliver. Back then, political discussions were a common topic among friends. But when I found out that some of them supported this candidate, it became more than just a disagreement. It highlighted a strong difference in values. Six years passed, and the consequences of that choice were clear. Lives were lost. Opportunities wasted. A part of me lost hope, not just in the country but in the friendships I once valued.

Beyond politics, career changes also played a role. New jobs meant new circles, different schedules, and diverging interests. Most of my friends love to travel. I do not. Many have started families. I am happily living with my cats. Over time, I just found myself struggling to relate to their stories, and I imagine they felt the same about mine, too.

Moving away from home can also be a factor. Whether it is relocating to a different city, working remotely, or simply following different life paths, distance naturally affects how friendships are maintained. Some survive the shift, while others fade into memory.

3. The Emotional Side: It’s Okay to Let Go

Every now and then, guilt creeps in. Could I have tried harder? Should I have reached out more? But I also know that sometimes, the healthiest thing is to allow space. To let each person grow without the weight of old expectations.

Instead of mourning what is lost, shifting perspective can be powerful. Yes, losing friends hurts, but having them in our lives, even for a chapter, is something to be grateful for. They played a role in shaping who we are today, and that is enough. I’ve had the pleasure of being friends with people whose stories play a role in my values now, people who made me believe in my skills, and people who encouraged me to find myself in this big, crazy world.

When conversations start to feel forced, when values no longer align, or when a friendship makes you question your worth rather than uplift you, it might be time to let go. And that is okay. It is just another step in becoming who you are meant to be.

4. The Upside: Making Space for New, Aligned Connections

Losing friends is as normal as gaining new ones. I find it fascinating how work relationships and even online communities bring people closer, leading to friendships that last for years.

In recent years, I have met incredible friends at work. Over lunch or dinner, we share our goals, discuss societal issues, debate perspectives, and still respect each other at the end of the day. I have also rekindled friendships I thought I had lost. Grad school peers and online communities have paved the way for new connections. They may not be as deep as childhood friendships, but they are meaningful in their own way.  After all, some of the strongest friendships are built over shared values and experiences and not necessarily over time.

New friendships bring fresh perspectives, opportunities, and energy. Hearing other people’s struggles and wins helps me empathize more and also reflect on my own journey. One of my favorite quotes says, “Until it is my turn, I will keep clapping for others.” That mindset has helped me appreciate friendships that inspire me rather than hold me back.

As we grow older, we become more intentional about the people we allow into our lives. Building meaningful connections requires effort, but when we surround ourselves with people who align with our growth, it is worth it.

5. How to Navigate Changing Friendships Gracefully

Losing friendships as we go through changes in career and life, no matter how natural, can still feel heavy. But how we handle these changes matters. It is not about burning bridges or holding onto resentment. It is about recognizing that relationships evolve and choosing to move forward with grace.

Let Go Without Bitterness.

Not all friendships are meant to last forever, and that is okay. People change, priorities shift, and sometimes the best thing you can do is part ways without hard feelings. Holding onto resentment only makes it harder to grow.

Keep Doors Open (But Don’t Force It).

Some friendships naturally rekindle, while others do not. Both outcomes are fine. If a connection is meant to return, it will. If not, it was still valuable in its own way.

Be Mindful of the Energy You Invest.

Surround yourself with people who uplift, challenge, and inspire you. Friendships should be mutually enriching, not something that drains or weighs you down.

At the end of the day, it is not about how many friends we have but about the quality of relationships we nurture.

6. Conclusion: Embracing the Flow of Relationships

Looking back at that lazy weekend scrolling through social media, I realized something important. Friendships do not really disappear. Friendships just take on different forms as we go through career growth and life, in general. Some people are meant to walk with us for a lifetime, while others are only part of a few chapters. Both are equally meaningful.

Growth brings change, and change brings new opportunities. Instead of dwelling on what was lost, I choose to appreciate what was and welcome what is ahead. When we let go with gratitude, we create space for new relationships that align with who we are becoming.

Because in the end, you win some, you lose some, but every connection, no matter how long it lasts, is a part of your story. And that is something to be grateful for.